Dec 03 2005
A nice afternoon
I did not see her until lunch-time, when she offered taking me for walk, and we spent a nice afternoon walking in the woods, and returned to house about five.
This text can be improved in a number of ways:
1. There are some mistakes in the text that must be corrected
2. Assuming that she made her offer without being forced to or being asked by anyone to do so, can you suggest a verb other than “offer” that would emphasize this nuance?
3. Think of other, more expressive, words to use instead of “nice”.
4. Assuming that they walked in the woods without having a particular purpose, can you suggest a more exact word than “walk”?
5. “…, and returned…” Isn’t there a better way of saying this?
Rewrite the text making any changes you find necessary to correct and improve it.
