Comments for Translation Workshop http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop Learn translation through translating! Thu, 28 Aug 2008 01:57:32 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.0.2 Comment on Lost Love by Mahnaz http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2007/04/08/lost-love/#comment-166 Mon, 23 Jun 2008 10:23:14 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2007/04/08/lost-love/#comment-166 دوستان خیلی پیچیده نکنید بادلارام موافقم دوستان خیلی پیچیده نکنید
بادلارام موافقم

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by Ed http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-165 Sat, 14 Jun 2008 01:22:04 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-165 Hey dandelion, what news have you brought? From where and from whom did you bring it? Be it good news…but…but… Around me and my place Fruitless you wander Not expecting any news, me Not from a lover nor any place Go where someone lent you an eye and an ear Go where they expect you Dandelion In my heart all are blind and deaf Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland Messenger of experiences all bitter With my heart you speak: You are a lie, a lie You are deceit, deceit Hey dandelion…but…at least…oh no… Really have you gone with the wind? I am talking to you, hey, where did you go? Hey… Really, is there still any news any where? Any warm ashes remaining anywhere? In the stove, I don’t extinguish the zest of the flame, is there still a tiny spark? Dandelion Day and night, the clouds of the whole world Weep in my heart Hey dandelion, what news have you brought?
From where and from whom did you bring it?
Be it good news…but…but…
Around me and my place
Fruitless you wander
Not expecting any news, me
Not from a lover nor any place
Go where someone lent you an eye and an ear
Go where they expect you
Dandelion
In my heart all are blind and deaf
Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland
Messenger of experiences all bitter
With my heart you speak:
You are a lie, a lie
You are deceit, deceit
Hey dandelion…but…at least…oh no…
Really have you gone with the wind?
I am talking to you, hey, where did you go? Hey…
Really, is there still any news any where?
Any warm ashes remaining anywhere?
In the stove, I don’t extinguish the zest of the flame, is there still a tiny spark?
Dandelion
Day and night, the clouds of the whole world
Weep in my heart

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by Pejman Habibi http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-163 Wed, 04 Jun 2008 06:55:07 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-163 <p> I very much like Mr Sharafoddin's preference for &#34;weep&#34; over &#34;cry&#34;. The word &#34;weep&#34; normally has stronger undertones of grief and abandon and thus fits in much better here than &#34;cry&#34;.</p><p> As to the &#34;the mass of white threads to which the seeds are attached &#34;, the one that flies and brings you messages of spring etc, it's called &#34;dandelion clock&#34;, but I don't think it would go with the feel of the poem, so maybe we'd be better off sticking with the simple &#34;dandelion&#34;.</p> I very much like Mr Sharafoddin’s preference for "weep" over "cry". The word "weep" normally has stronger undertones of grief and abandon and thus fits in much better here than "cry".

As to the "the mass of white threads to which the seeds are attached ", the one that flies and brings you messages of spring etc, it’s called "dandelion clock", but I don’t think it would go with the feel of the poem, so maybe we’d be better off sticking with the simple "dandelion".

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by Hassan Sharafoddin http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-162 Tue, 03 Jun 2008 23:33:08 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-162 Hello! Sorry I wasn’t around for a few months. This is my first try, done hastily I'm afraid, and – as ever – open to criticism. Dandelion (I’m not sure if the seeds of the plant and flower dandelion are called dandelion too.) Dandelion! Lo! What news brought, have you? Whence from, whom from, news brought, have you? Glad tidings, I hope – but alas! Around my abode, flying in vain, are you. Expecting news, I’m not. Nor from a friend, from somebody, nobody! Go where people have ears to hear, eyes to see. Go where they are awaiting thee. Dandelion! All are blind and deaf in my heart. Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland. Memory of all bitter experiences Tells my heart A guile you are, a guile A wile you are, a wile. Dandelion! By the way... With the wind, really, go, did you? You, hey! Where, go, did you? Is – still – really something happening somewhere? Is there warm ash somewhere? Is there a tiny twinkle – I don’t expect much – in a burner? Dandelion! Clouds of the whole world Weep in my heart Day and night. Hello! Sorry I wasn’t around for a few months.
This is my first try, done hastily I’m afraid, and – as ever – open to criticism.

Dandelion (I’m not sure if the seeds of the plant and flower dandelion are called dandelion too.)

Dandelion! Lo! What news brought, have you?
Whence from, whom from, news brought, have you?
Glad tidings, I hope – but alas!
Around my abode, flying in vain, are you.
Expecting news, I’m not.
Nor from a friend, from somebody, nobody!
Go where people have ears to hear, eyes to see.
Go where they are awaiting thee.

Dandelion!
All are blind and deaf in my heart.
Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland.
Memory of all bitter experiences
Tells my heart
A guile you are, a guile
A wile you are, a wile.
Dandelion! By the way…
With the wind, really, go, did you?
You, hey! Where, go, did you?
Is – still – really something happening somewhere?
Is there warm ash somewhere?
Is there a tiny twinkle – I don’t expect much – in a burner?

Dandelion!
Clouds of the whole world
Weep in my heart
Day and night.

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by ardeshir http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-161 Tue, 20 May 2008 08:39:57 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-161 It's really a difficult thing to translate poems. I did my best though I couldn't do it completely. Oh, Dandelion! What news you bring? Whence and from whom you bring? Merry news may you bring But alas, at my house, at my door In vain you’ve flown News I await not From a lover, or a hometown Fly where you’re seen, where you’re heard Fly away to where you’re yearned Dandelion! Heedless, sightless are the ones in my heart Ah! Leave this unwelcomed outsider at him home It’s really a difficult thing to translate poems. I did my best though I couldn’t do it completely.

Oh, Dandelion! What news you bring?
Whence and from whom you bring?
Merry news may you bring
But alas, at my house, at my door
In vain you’ve flown
News I await not
From a lover, or a hometown
Fly where you’re seen, where you’re heard
Fly away to where you’re yearned
Dandelion!
Heedless, sightless are the ones in my heart
Ah! Leave this unwelcomed outsider at him home

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by Pejman Habibi http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-160 Sun, 18 May 2008 10:39:31 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-160 It was a nice try, Mr Yavarian! Here are some suggestions: 1. I think it would sound better if we omitted &#34;the place&#34;. We can simply say: Go where people are waiting for you 2. For: انتظار خبری نیست مرا may I suggest the word &#34;expect&#34;? It was a nice try, Mr Yavarian!
Here are some suggestions:
1. I think it would sound better if we omitted "the place". We can simply say:
Go where people are waiting for you
2. For:
انتظار خبری نیست مرا
may I suggest the word "expect"?

]]> Comment on Qaasedak… by Ghasem Yavarian http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-159 Mon, 12 May 2008 18:03:30 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/04/30/qaasedak/#comment-159 It is very difficult but I try to translate some parts گرد بام و در من بی ثمر می گردی انتظار خبری نیست مرا It is no use hanging around my house I am waiting no news برو آنجا که بود چشمی و گوشی با کس برو آنجا که تو را منتظرند Go to the place where someone listens to you Go to the place where people are waiting for you با دلم می گوید که دروغی تو، دروغ که فریبی تو، فریب tells my heart that you are a lie, a lie that you are a decption, a deception It is very difficult but I try to translate some parts

گرد بام و در من
بی ثمر می گردی
انتظار خبری نیست مرا

It is no use hanging
around my house
I am waiting no news

برو آنجا که بود چشمی و گوشی با کس
برو آنجا که تو را منتظرند

Go to the place where someone listens to you
Go to the place where people are waiting for you

با دلم می گوید
که دروغی تو، دروغ
که فریبی تو، فریب

tells my heart
that you are a lie, a lie
that you are a decption, a deception

]]> Comment on Feedback by radiosaeed http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/feedback/#comment-158 Tue, 06 May 2008 07:06:57 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/feedback/#comment-158 <div align="right" style="direction: rtl;"> بهتر نيست که برای ترجمه های ارائه شده از طرف دوستان، يک نتيجه گيری کلی داشته باشيم تا بالاخره تا حدودی مشخص بشه که ترجمه نهايي چی باشه بهتره؟</div> بهتر نيست که برای ترجمه های ارائه شده از طرف دوستان، يک نتيجه گيری کلی داشته باشيم تا بالاخره تا حدودی مشخص بشه که ترجمه نهايي چی باشه بهتره؟ ]]> Comment on One-liner: A dog with no legs by daryush http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/03/30/one-liner-a-dog-with-no-legs/#comment-157 Fri, 18 Apr 2008 17:45:15 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/03/30/one-liner-a-dog-with-no-legs/#comment-157 <div align="right" style="direction: rtl;"> سگي بدون پا را كجا پيدا مي كند؟ اَنجاكه ولش كرد</div> سگي بدون پا را كجا پيدا مي كند؟
اَنجاكه ولش كرد ]]> Comment on One-liner: A dog with no legs by Saman_Azad http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/03/30/one-liner-a-dog-with-no-legs/#comment-156 Sun, 30 Mar 2008 18:01:45 +0000 http://cyberend.com/translationworkshop/2008/03/30/one-liner-a-dog-with-no-legs/#comment-156 <div align="right" style="direction: rtl;"> - یه سگ فلج رو کجا میتونی پیدا کنی؟ - درست همون جایی که ترکش کردی!</div> - یه سگ فلج رو کجا میتونی پیدا کنی؟
- درست همون جایی که ترکش کردی! ]]>