Qaasedak…

Qaasedak Qaasedak Qaasedak

Mehdi Axavaan-e Sales (1928, Mashhad, Iran — 1990, Tehran, Iran) was a prominent contemporary Persian poet. He is one of the pioneers of Free Verse (New Style Poetry) in Persian language. Below is one of his best-known poems, Qaasedak. Let’s see if we could translate this delicate and sad  - but not all sad - masterpiece into English in a way that not only captures the spirit and beauty of the original work, but also allows the English-speaking readers to connect with it.

قاصدک! هان، چه خبر آوردی؟
از کجا وز که خبر آوردی؟
خوش خبر باشی، اما، ‌اما
گرد بام و در من
بی ثمر می گردی
انتظار خبری نیست مرا
نه ز یاری نه ز دیار و دیاری باری
برو آنجا که بود چشمی و گوشی با کس
برو آنجا که تو را منتظرند
قاصدک
در دل من همه کورند و کرند
دست بردار از این در وطن خویش غریب
قاصد تجربه های همه تلخ
با دلم می گوید
که دروغی تو، دروغ
که فریبی تو، فریب
قاصدک! هان، ولی… آخر… ای وای
راستی آیا رفتی با باد؟
با توام، آی! کجا رفتی؟ آی
راستی آیا جایی خبری هست هنوز؟
مانده خاکستر گرمی، جایی؟
در اجاقی طمع شعله نمی بندم خردک شرری هست هنوز؟
قاصدک
ابرهای همه عالم شب و روز
در دلم می گریند

مهدی اخوان ثالث

Posted by Pejman Habibi on April 30th, 2008 with 8 comments.
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    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Ghasem Yavarian
    #1. May 12th, 2008, at 6:03 PM.

    It is very difficult but I try to translate some parts

    گرد بام و در من
    بی ثمر می گردی
    انتظار خبری نیست مرا

    It is no use hanging
    around my house
    I am waiting no news

    برو آنجا که بود چشمی و گوشی با کس
    برو آنجا که تو را منتظرند

    Go to the place where someone listens to you
    Go to the place where people are waiting for you

    با دلم می گوید
    که دروغی تو، دروغ
    که فریبی تو، فریب

    tells my heart
    that you are a lie, a lie
    that you are a decption, a deception

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Pejman Habibi
    #2. May 18th, 2008, at 10:39 AM.

    It was a nice try, Mr Yavarian!
    Here are some suggestions:
    1. I think it would sound better if we omitted "the place". We can simply say:
    Go where people are waiting for you
    2. For:
    انتظار خبری نیست مرا
    may I suggest the word "expect"?

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com ardeshir
    #3. May 20th, 2008, at 8:39 AM.

    It’s really a difficult thing to translate poems. I did my best though I couldn’t do it completely.

    Oh, Dandelion! What news you bring?
    Whence and from whom you bring?
    Merry news may you bring
    But alas, at my house, at my door
    In vain you’ve flown
    News I await not
    From a lover, or a hometown
    Fly where you’re seen, where you’re heard
    Fly away to where you’re yearned
    Dandelion!
    Heedless, sightless are the ones in my heart
    Ah! Leave this unwelcomed outsider at him home

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Hassan Sharafoddin
    #4. June 3rd, 2008, at 11:33 PM.

    Hello! Sorry I wasn’t around for a few months.
    This is my first try, done hastily I’m afraid, and – as ever – open to criticism.

    Dandelion (I’m not sure if the seeds of the plant and flower dandelion are called dandelion too.)

    Dandelion! Lo! What news brought, have you?
    Whence from, whom from, news brought, have you?
    Glad tidings, I hope – but alas!
    Around my abode, flying in vain, are you.
    Expecting news, I’m not.
    Nor from a friend, from somebody, nobody!
    Go where people have ears to hear, eyes to see.
    Go where they are awaiting thee.

    Dandelion!
    All are blind and deaf in my heart.
    Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland.
    Memory of all bitter experiences
    Tells my heart
    A guile you are, a guile
    A wile you are, a wile.
    Dandelion! By the way…
    With the wind, really, go, did you?
    You, hey! Where, go, did you?
    Is – still – really something happening somewhere?
    Is there warm ash somewhere?
    Is there a tiny twinkle – I don’t expect much – in a burner?

    Dandelion!
    Clouds of the whole world
    Weep in my heart
    Day and night.

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Pejman Habibi
    #5. June 4th, 2008, at 6:55 AM.

    I very much like Mr Sharafoddin’s preference for "weep" over "cry". The word "weep" normally has stronger undertones of grief and abandon and thus fits in much better here than "cry".

    As to the "the mass of white threads to which the seeds are attached ", the one that flies and brings you messages of spring etc, it’s called "dandelion clock", but I don’t think it would go with the feel of the poem, so maybe we’d be better off sticking with the simple "dandelion".

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Ed
    #6. June 14th, 2008, at 1:22 AM.

    Hey dandelion, what news have you brought?
    From where and from whom did you bring it?
    Be it good news…but…but…
    Around me and my place
    Fruitless you wander
    Not expecting any news, me
    Not from a lover nor any place
    Go where someone lent you an eye and an ear
    Go where they expect you
    Dandelion
    In my heart all are blind and deaf
    Leave alone this stranger-in-his-homeland
    Messenger of experiences all bitter
    With my heart you speak:
    You are a lie, a lie
    You are deceit, deceit
    Hey dandelion…but…at least…oh no…
    Really have you gone with the wind?
    I am talking to you, hey, where did you go? Hey…
    Really, is there still any news any where?
    Any warm ashes remaining anywhere?
    In the stove, I don’t extinguish the zest of the flame, is there still a tiny spark?
    Dandelion
    Day and night, the clouds of the whole world
    Weep in my heart

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com fatima_omidvar
    #7. November 28th, 2008, at 11:36 AM.

    excuse me.i dont know your site well.can you tell me if i have a persian text and i want to translate it to english where can i write it and yu help me to translate it?

    Get your own gravatar by visiting gravatar.com Pejman Habibi
    #8. November 29th, 2008, at 5:41 PM.

    Dear Ms Omidvār,
    If your text is short (about one paragraph), you can send it to us through the contact page. We will post it on the workshop if possible, and hopefully some of our visitors will try their hands at translating it. 

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